No. 12 The Returnee’s Handbook – Passion

Those who have recently had any interaction either with the colony of Monopolis or with a resident Monopolian will be aware of their attitude towards, and use of, the word ‘Passion’ and its derivative, ‘Passionate’.

Monopolians are passionate about everything, from clipping their toe nails to ending world hunger.

There is no subject upon which the Monopolian is ambivalent, they are never ‘so so’ on any topic. Being passionate goes with being super-excited. Monopolians are never merely ‘excited’ about anything, if they are going to be excited at all, they will be super-excited.

The Monopolian will be passionate and super-excited about whatever task they are engaged in, or are about to be engaged in, or have recently completed. If the Monopolian is in a particularly good mood or if you area a close friend, superior, or someone who may help them in some way either immediately or in the future, the Monopolian may be super-excited about your currently allocated task, or one you’ve just completed or are about to start. They may even claim to be passionate about it.

If you have recently returned from Monopolis it is important to be aware that the words passion and passionate are used differently here than they are there. In Monopolis the word passionate is roughly equal to the phrases ‘working on’ or ‘aware of’ back on Earth. Its use is of course derived from the same original core concept, that of caring about something very deeply, but as it is applied to everything the Monopolian does, all the time, it has evolved a less fervid meaning.

This can be confusing to the recent returnee, as Monopolians are genuinely fervent abut some things, for example bonuses and fulfilling their true potential. They are also ardent in their attachment to Monopolis. Research has shown that the average Monopolian will not leave Monopolis willingly, ever.

The Monopolian is also zealous, genuinely so, in articulating the superiority of Monopolis and all its works, over those of competitors; avid in their interest in all things Monopolian, and obsessive in their need to iterate and re-iterate their key sales messages and points of differentiation.

As with any organisation, its hangers on and enthusiasts, there are those who go too far. These are the fanatics, every large organisation has them, particularly in the fields of sports and technology. They are the storm troopers of Monopolis and its competitors, those who adore the leader and would die for the cause. The fanatics, are, mercifully, few in number though their voice is loud and their influence great.

It will be evident from this short reading that hanging out with a Monopolian can be exhausting, and is typically tedious after a little while. For the recent returnee from Monopolis, therefore, it is important to be aware of the common use of words on Earth if they are to avoid ridicule, or worse, becoming a source of ennui amongst their fellows.


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